He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
