smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
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