just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
