My nipple is on Facebook.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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