i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Panties = found
Randomize
