Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
