why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
