Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
