Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
