Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Randomize
