it's not cheating when I paid for it
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
