quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
