Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
