i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Randomize
