I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Randomize
