Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
it hurts more in the daytime
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
