There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Randomize
