guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
