This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
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