Swine flu. Run for my life!
its not stalking. its research.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Randomize
