I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Randomize