Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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