just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
