it hurts more in the daytime
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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