just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
