I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
Randomize
