My nipple is on Facebook.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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