if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
