i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
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