Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
