so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
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