I CAN MOONWALK!
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
