Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize