You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
