Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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