thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize