You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
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