I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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