I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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