Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
