Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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