i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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