:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
