I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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