I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
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