Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
