'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize