can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize
