I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
I think I sprained my soul last night
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
