; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
