i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
