She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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