i think my mom watched the whole time
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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