Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
