when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Your penis caused this!
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
