I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
We left the knife in your bed.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Randomize
