I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
