I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
