lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
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