i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Randomize
