i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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