I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
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